See the SG, p. 196. Then write a preliminary thesis statement for your first essay assignment. We will workshop these in class on Friday, so bring your laptops/tablets.
Greg Hampikian’s “When may I shoot a student” published in the New York Times. He was trying to assume the situations which could happen after gun permitted in the campus to effectively convince the chief counsel of the Idaho State Legislature to reconsider the bill. Ironic tone, comparison are the techniques Greg skillfully employs to create a strong convincing essay.
Your thesis could add more detail of how does the author write the article, such as how does he use the primary and secondary evidences. And add more purpose of the author.
"When may I shoot a student" by Greg Hampikian. During the text he not only used his rational analysis about the situation he might be encountered to persuade chief to reconsider the bill but also published to the newspaper made much more people consider this. Comparison and credible data he used made people treat this bill more seriously.
" when may i shoot a student" was written by Greg Hampikian, a collage's biology teacher. He used a ironic tone to tell his audience it is dangerous to bring the guns to school. Also he used the comparison skill to let his essay very convincing.
In order to bring attention to the campus security problem, professor Hampikian published a letter to the chief counsel of the Idaho State Legislature on the New York times. As an university professor, he mentioned some problem about the student with guns seriously. we can see his discontented about the law that allow student to bring guns on campus by his sarcastic tone.
In order to bring attention to the campus security problem, professor Hampikian publish a letter to the chief counsel of the Idaho State Legislature on the New York times. As an university professor, he mention some problem about the student with guns seriously. we can see his discontent about the law that allow student to bring guns on campus by his sarcastic tone. He use his authority as a professor emphasize the possibility of uncontrollable event so that he could own more consent to against the Campus gun decree.
"When may I shoot a student" was published on New York Times, written by Greg Hampikian, The whole story used hypothesis to demonstrate if all the students go to college with guns, also used some examples and sarcastic tone and pathos trying to persuade the primary audience and get credibility from them.
After read "When man I shoot a student" which was written by professor Hampikian on the New York times. This article was professor Hampikian written for the chief counsel of the Idaho State Legislature. Professor Hampikian use ironic tone to talk about guns problem in campus.
You can add more specific rhetorical strategies such as, Hampikian use his authority as a professor to prove the student with guns is threatening his security so that the Idaho State Legislature. He also assume some situation about the students with guns make will cause some uncontrollable event to prove his opinion.
"When man I shoot a student", written by Professor Hampikian on the New York Times is talking about what if students bring guns with them in campus. He used serious tones to persuade the audience. Name: Yanqing Li
Professor Hampkins tries to persuade his audiences, which include the state legislative and american citizens in general, to stand against allowing guns in campuses by using a sarcastic tone and cultural references.
"When may I shoot a student" is written by the Hampikian, and it published on the New York Times. This aritcle is talking about the ideas about students shouldn't bring guns on campus, this is security problem which has relationship with all university students. Author shows evidences in the aritcle, it's rasonable.
Nancy Mairs, a writer who has multiple sclerosis (MS) delivers her own experience, uses comparison, and humor tones in her article “On Being A Cripple” to persuade the readers, especially who is suffering from diseases that encourages others that having positive attitudes toward the world will make one a better life. Although there are some pessimistic messages reflected in the article, this is a convincing article because she is a persuasive example who struggles with disease and cherishes every day in her life.
This is a good thesis but a little too long. The second sentence has repeated the same meaning of some of the first sentence. In addition, there are some small grammar mistakes.
The ted talk on "Why ethnic studies matter" by Ron Espiritu tries to convince the audience to legalize ethnic studies in school. He uses strong proofs that second his point and also emotionally appeals the audience to look into this matter.
i really like the thesis statement and is argumentative as well, but you have 2 sentences. Try to merge them into one. Also, you didin't specify what kind of strong proofs. i feel like you were in a rush while writing your thesis statement. how much time did you give? Read SG thesis statement section agin and you should be fine.
Using examples of his grandmother, mother, and other strong assertions, Ron Espiritu in his TED talk, tries to convince audience to allow students study ethnic studies in schools.
You have used the name of author, however the title of the ted talk is missing. The use of words like "tries" and "convince" is important and spot on. You haven't discussed the specific rhetorical strategies that the author uses to fulfill his purpose. It is too general and you should try to be more specific!
In "When man I shoot a student" from The New York Times, Hampikian tries to persuade the chief counsel of the Idaho state legislature and the students to prohibit guns on campus with an angry and ironic tone.
Good thieses Your thiese should have only your gaol in ur essay and not what the articl was about. You should talk about the articl in the beginning of ur essay. Let the the thiese only for ur argument and the big main point.
Hampikian persuades the chief counsel of the Idaho state legislature and the people of Idaho to stand against allowing guns on campus. Although he is generally affective in giving reasons for prohibiting guns in campus, the lack of evidence that guns had been used in campus is not a great way to deliver the message.
" When may i shoot a student"is written Hampikian and this article was published on the New York Time. The article is talking about that the students shouldn't bring the guns to school. And he used a very strong and angry tones to talk about this topic.
He use ironic tine to talk about the situation, and in the text he use several specific rhetorical analysis to express his main idea, so you need pick some of them for analysis and tell us why he use rhetorical analysis can made people pay more attention on this situation.
In the essay 'When man I shoot a student' from New York Times, Professor Hampikian used an ironic tone the several rhetorical strategies to persuade the chef council of the Idaho state legislature to stop permitting guns in school.
The writer Professor Hampikian tries to convince the readers of the New York Times, which are mostly the citizens of the State of America to support the idea of prohibiting guns on campuses by using a tone of anger and sarcasm.
Ron Espiritu's ted talk addresses about the importance of ethnics study to the American society. His tone and person experience have made his talk appealing
You should Indicate the stratigies that the author used to persuade and how did how did he used them to influence the primary and the secondary audience.
The author use the examples of her mother and grandmother, combine his own experiences to aprove his idea that student should learn ethnic studies earlier in high school and elementary school.
"When shall I shoot a student" was written by Greg Hampikian and published on New York Times talks about what will happened if students bring guns to campus and students should never do that. He uses solemn tone to talk about this.
The ted talk on "Why ethnic studies matter" by Ron Espiritu tries to convince the audience to legalize ethnic studies in school. He uses strong proofs that show students' better performance when they studied ethnic subjects that second his point. He also emotionally appeals the audience by giving his grandmother's example to look into this matter.
Using examples of his grandmother, mother, and other strong assertions, Ron Espiritu in his TED talk, "Why ethnic studies matter" tries to convince audience to allow students study ethnic studies in schools by appealing to their emotions.
"When I can shoot a student" is write by professor and published by New York Times newspaper. Hampikion gives example to provide students take guns to school is really dangerous. It's not just dangerous for someone. Everyone should worried about that. For personal safety, he thinks he need to take gun to protect himself. For my view, I think he wants to let police know about that and pay attention on that.
Professor hampikion wants to gives suggestion people to be aware for people who comes campus and take weapons. This is also the main idea. He write this to chief. Actually this is not just for them. He write this for everyone who works in campus
Nancy Mairs, a writer who has multiple sclerosis (MS) delivers both pessimistic and optimistic messages from her personal experience, uses comparison, and humor tone in her article “On Being A Cripple” to encourage the audience and people suffering from diseases, to maintain a positive attitude and gratitude toward the world.
In 'When May I Shoot a Student', professor Hampikion uses many examples-some happened incidents and hypothesis to persuade the chief counsel of the Idaho State Legislature and people read the New York Time to believe the bill that allowing guns on Idaho's college should be reconsidered
Greg Hampikian’s “When may I shoot a student” published in the New York Times. He was trying to assume the worst situations which could happen after gun permitted on campus and make claims such as " guns don't kill people,people with gun do " to effectively convince the chief counsel of the Idaho State Legislature to reconsider the bill and the whole national people who support this bill to pass. Ironic tone, comparison between bad guy and students and repetitive phrases the techniques Greg skillfully uses to create a strong convincing essay.
Ron Espiritu, a teacher from TEDxAmherst College, uses the example of his mother and grandmother combine his personal experiences to show and prove his idea to audiences that students should learn ethnic studies earlier in high school and elementary school.
In the essay 'When man I shoot a student' from New York Times, Professor Hampikian uses several rhetorical strategies such as a ironic tone, comparison and hypothesis to effectively persuade the chef council of the Idaho state legislature as well as students in college to stop permitting guns in school.
Ron Espiritu's ted talk "Why ethnic studies matters” addresses about the importance of ethnic studies to the American society. His determined tone and vivid personal experience of fighting against government’s ban over ethnic studies have made his talk appealing. He provides varies examples to the audience of the actions taken by other ethnic studies proposers to support the issue have successfully caught the audience’s attention on an underlying issue in the American society.
（secondly revised）Nancy Mairs, a writer who has multiple sclerosis (MS) delivers both pessimistic and optimistic messages from her personal experience, uses comparison, and a humorous tone in her article “On Being A Cripple” to encourage people suffering from MS and having problems with their health, to maintain a positive attitude and gratitude toward the world.
The thesis is student should bring guns on campus. The article uses add a lot of evidence into the article. He use prmary and secondary evidence to convince the thesis. Author use the ironic way to show his ideas. This make the article reasonable
Greg Hampikian’s “When may I shoot a student” published in the New York Times. He was trying to assume the situations which could happen after gun permitted in the campus to effectively convince the chief counsel of the Idaho State Legislature to reconsider the bill. Ironic tone, comparison are the techniques Greg skillfully employs to create a strong convincing essay.
ReplyDeleteYour thesis could add more detail of how does the author write the article, such as how does he use the primary and secondary evidences. And add more purpose of the author.
Delete"When may I shoot a student" by Greg Hampikian. During the text he not only used his rational analysis about the situation he might be encountered to persuade chief to reconsider the bill but also published to the newspaper made much more people consider this. Comparison and credible data he used made people treat this bill more seriously.
ReplyDelete" when may i shoot a student" was written by Greg Hampikian, a collage's biology teacher. He used a ironic tone to tell his audience it is dangerous to bring the guns to school. Also he used the comparison skill to let his essay very convincing.
DeleteIn order to bring attention to the campus security problem, professor Hampikian published a letter to the chief counsel of the Idaho State Legislature on the New York times. As an university professor, he mentioned some problem about the student with guns seriously. we can see his discontented about the law that allow student to bring guns on campus by his sarcastic tone.
ReplyDeleteYou can add audience and the effect for the audience.
DeleteAlso I think add author's purpose for this article will be good. In addition you should present tense.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
DeleteIn order to bring attention to the campus security problem, professor Hampikian publish a letter to the chief counsel of the Idaho State Legislature on the New York times. As an university professor, he mention some problem about the student with guns seriously. we can see his discontent about the law that allow student to bring guns on campus by his sarcastic tone. He use his authority as a professor emphasize the possibility of uncontrollable event so that he could own more consent to against the Campus gun decree.
Delete"When may I shoot a student" was published on New York Times, written by Greg Hampikian, The whole story used hypothesis to demonstrate if all the students go to college with guns, also used some examples and sarcastic tone and pathos trying to persuade the primary audience and get credibility from them.
ReplyDeleteAfter read "When man I shoot a student" which was written by professor Hampikian on the New York times. This article was professor Hampikian written for the chief counsel of the Idaho State Legislature. Professor Hampikian use ironic tone to talk about guns problem in campus.
ReplyDeleteYou can add more specific rhetorical strategies such as, Hampikian use his authority as a professor to prove the student with guns is threatening his security so that the Idaho State Legislature. He also assume some situation about the students with guns make will cause some uncontrollable event to prove his opinion.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete"When man I shoot a student", written by Professor Hampikian on the New York Times is talking about what if students bring guns with them in campus. He used serious tones to persuade the audience.
ReplyDeleteName: Yanqing Li
The title of this article is "When may I shoot a student". Also is not "in campus" is "on campus".
DeleteProfessor Hampkins tries to persuade his audiences, which include the state legislative and american citizens in general, to stand against allowing guns in campuses by using a sarcastic tone and cultural references.
ReplyDelete"When may I shoot a student" is written by the Hampikian, and it published on the New York Times. This aritcle is talking about the ideas about students shouldn't bring guns on campus, this is security problem which has relationship with all university students. Author shows evidences in the aritcle, it's rasonable.
ReplyDeleteshouble be more specific about the evidence and tell us how the author show the reasonable in the article.
DeleteNancy Mairs, a writer who has multiple sclerosis (MS) delivers her own experience, uses comparison, and humor tones in her article “On Being A Cripple” to persuade the readers, especially who is suffering from diseases that encourages others that having positive attitudes toward the world will make one a better life. Although there are some pessimistic messages reflected in the article, this is a convincing article because she is a persuasive example who struggles with disease and cherishes every day in her life.
ReplyDeleteXinye Wu (Cornelia)
This is a good thesis but a little too long. The second sentence has repeated the same meaning of some of the first sentence. In addition, there are some small grammar mistakes.
DeleteThe ted talk on "Why ethnic studies matter" by Ron Espiritu tries to convince the audience to legalize ethnic studies in school. He uses strong proofs that second his point and also emotionally appeals the audience to look into this matter.
ReplyDeletei really like the thesis statement and is argumentative as well, but you have 2 sentences. Try to merge them into one. Also, you didin't specify what kind of strong proofs. i feel like you were in a rush while writing your thesis statement. how much time did you give? Read SG thesis statement section agin and you should be fine.
DeleteUsing examples of his grandmother, mother, and other strong assertions, Ron Espiritu in his TED talk, tries to convince audience to allow students study ethnic studies in schools.
ReplyDeleteYou have used the name of author, however the title of the ted talk is missing. The use of words like "tries" and "convince" is important and spot on. You haven't discussed the specific rhetorical strategies that the author uses to fulfill his purpose. It is too general and you should try to be more specific!
DeleteWhich rhetorical strategy can i use?
DeleteIts upto you tbh!
DeleteIn "When man I shoot a student" from The New York Times, Hampikian tries to persuade the chief counsel of the Idaho state legislature and the students to prohibit guns on campus with an angry and ironic tone.
ReplyDeleteGood thieses
DeleteYour thiese should have only your gaol in ur essay and not what the articl was about.
You should talk about the articl in the beginning of ur essay. Let the the thiese only for ur argument and the big main point.
Hampikian persuades the chief counsel of the Idaho state legislature and the people of Idaho to stand against allowing guns on campus. Although he is generally affective in giving reasons for prohibiting guns in campus, the lack of evidence that guns had been used in campus is not a great way to deliver the message.
Delete" When may i shoot a student"is written Hampikian and this article was published on the New York Time. The article is talking about that the students shouldn't bring the guns to school. And he used a very strong and angry tones to talk about this topic.
ReplyDeleteHe use ironic tine to talk about the situation, and in the text he use several specific rhetorical analysis to express his main idea, so you need pick some of them for analysis and tell us why he use rhetorical analysis can made people pay more attention on this situation.
DeleteIn the essay 'When man I shoot a student' from New York Times, Professor Hampikian used an ironic tone the several rhetorical strategies to persuade the chef council of the Idaho state legislature to stop permitting guns in school.
ReplyDeleteThis is a good thesis statement though you should include specific rhetorical strategies instead of "several"
DeleteThe writer Professor Hampikian tries to convince the readers of the New York Times, which are mostly the citizens of the State of America to support the idea of prohibiting guns on campuses by using a tone of anger and sarcasm.
ReplyDeleteRon Espiritu's ted talk addresses about the importance of ethnics study to the American society. His tone and person experience have made his talk appealing
ReplyDeleteSo, what is his tone and his person experience? Can you give some example to provide it? If you can show these examples. It will be great.
DeleteThe auther did good job arguing the risk of having guns at an environment as Campus using big sense of ( i will find the word later)
ReplyDeleteThe word is sarcasm
DeleteThe word is sarcasm
DeleteYou should Indicate the stratigies that the author used to persuade and how did how did he used them to influence the primary and the secondary audience.
DeleteThe auther accomplish the gaol of this persuasive essay by using astrtiges such as sucasem, irony and anger.
DeleteThe author use the examples of her mother and grandmother, combine his own experiences to aprove his idea that student should learn ethnic studies earlier in high school and elementary school.
ReplyDelete"When shall I shoot a student" was written by Greg Hampikian and published on New York Times talks about what will happened if students bring guns to campus and students should never do that. He uses solemn tone to talk about this.
ReplyDeleteThe ted talk on "Why ethnic studies matter" by Ron Espiritu tries to convince the audience to legalize ethnic studies in school. He uses strong proofs that show students' better performance when they studied ethnic subjects that second his point. He also emotionally appeals the audience by giving his grandmother's example to look into this matter.
ReplyDeleteUsing examples of his grandmother, mother, and other strong assertions, Ron Espiritu in his TED talk, "Why ethnic studies matter" tries to convince audience to allow students study ethnic studies in schools by appealing to their emotions.
ReplyDelete"When I can shoot a student" is write by professor and published by New York Times newspaper. Hampikion gives example to provide students take guns to school is really dangerous. It's not just dangerous for someone. Everyone should worried about that. For personal safety, he thinks he need to take gun to protect himself. For my view, I think he wants to let police know about that and pay attention on that.
ReplyDeleteProfessor hampikion wants to gives suggestion people to be aware for people who comes campus and take weapons. This is also the main idea. He write this to chief. Actually this is not just for them. He write this for everyone who works in campus
DeleteNancy Mairs, a writer who has multiple sclerosis (MS) delivers both pessimistic and optimistic messages from her personal experience, uses comparison, and humor tone in her article “On Being A Cripple” to encourage the audience and people suffering from diseases, to maintain a positive attitude and gratitude toward the world.
ReplyDeleteIn 'When May I Shoot a Student', professor Hampikion uses many examples-some happened incidents and hypothesis to persuade the chief counsel of the Idaho State Legislature and people read the New York Time to believe the bill that allowing guns on Idaho's college should be reconsidered
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteGreg Hampikian’s “When may I shoot a student” published in the New York Times. He was trying to assume the worst situations which could happen after gun permitted on campus and make claims such as " guns don't kill people,people with gun do " to effectively convince the chief counsel of the Idaho State Legislature to reconsider the bill and the whole national people who support this bill to pass. Ironic tone, comparison between bad guy and students and repetitive phrases the techniques Greg skillfully uses to create a strong convincing essay.
ReplyDeleteRon Espiritu, a teacher from TEDxAmherst College, uses the example of his mother and grandmother combine his personal experiences to show and prove his idea to audiences that students should learn ethnic studies earlier in high school and elementary school.
ReplyDeleteIn the essay 'When man I shoot a student' from New York Times, Professor Hampikian uses several rhetorical strategies such as a ironic tone, comparison and hypothesis to effectively persuade the chef council of the Idaho state legislature as well as students in college to stop permitting guns in school.
ReplyDeleteRon Espiritu's ted talk "Why ethnic studies matters” addresses about the importance of ethnic studies to the American society. His determined tone and vivid personal experience of fighting against government’s ban over ethnic studies have made his talk appealing. He provides varies examples to the audience of the actions taken by other ethnic studies proposers to support the issue have successfully caught the audience’s attention on an underlying issue in the American society.
ReplyDelete（secondly revised）Nancy Mairs, a writer who has multiple sclerosis (MS) delivers both pessimistic and optimistic messages from her personal experience, uses comparison, and a humorous tone in her article “On Being A Cripple” to encourage people suffering from MS and having problems with their health, to maintain a positive attitude and gratitude toward the world.
ReplyDeleteThe thesis is student should bring guns on campus. The article uses add a lot of evidence into the article. He use prmary and secondary evidence to convince the thesis. Author use the ironic way to show his ideas. This make the article reasonable
ReplyDelete